Where does YOUR beautiful come from?
Yesterday we went out with Millie and Simon. We were going to have a pizza afternoon at our house, but on Saturday after Luna’s Water Babies lesson I decided to do a ‘quick’ tidy. This of course escalated into me making more mess than there was to begin with. I ended up up pulling everything out the kitchen cupboards and rearranging the whole kitchen (which I am very happy with, by the way).
We had to change our plans. I suggested we take a trip to John Lewis at Home. Thinking about it, our plans often evolve around places that sell coffee and cake. I say coffee because I think it makes me sound more grown up. In fact, I hate coffee. I’m that 30 year old that will order a hot chocolate no cream, no shame. Much. (I mean, I am 30!). Or a fizzy water. I always want to try the fancy drinks in the posh glass bottles, the ones with funny names – usually elderflower and some exotic fruit I have never heard of. I always regret this choice. Each time we meet for ‘coffee’, I’m confident that this meeting will be the game changer – ‘this will be the time I like it’, I tell myself. Because of that, I will always try a sip of the a friends coffee. They look so amazing and smell so good (the coffee.) But anyway this is turning into a post about coffee when that was not my intention!
As we was sitting having our coffee not coffee, Luna was eating her lunch. A lady walked passed and said to me “What a beautiful daughter you have.” Automatically said “Thank you!” – this was after a moment of scolding myself, as I promised I would think of a better comeback when someone compliments my daughters looks.
Don’t get me wrong, I think she is amazing and the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I LOVE when people tell me how beautiful she is. But really, isn’t beauty such a strange thing to compliment someone on? Being beautiful is not something that the person has done, earned, or worked for. It’s thousands of years of genetics.
Again I’m not talking about transformations of people or how someone presents themselves – I’m talking about the basic looks and appearance that start as a child. I do it myself. My friend had a baby a few days ago, and what did a comment on the picture? ‘She is gorgeous!’
I was annoyed at myself as I was typing, but what else can you say? Does it start from babies? Because there isn’t really much else you can say about them. Or is it that as adults, we project our obsession with appearance onto babies? Do you really believe that your child is the best looking? (er, well YES, actually.)
But why do we even think about looks on a child? As I said, I love compliments on my daughter, but I all ready worry about raising a girl who is body positive. I was once told that everyone thinks their child is the best; best looking, best brains, best everything. Because as parents’ and carers’, it’s wired into our DNA. If human beings thought their child was like every other child, would we look after them as long we do? Compared to the animals? I’m not sure I believe this, and I’m sure with a quick Google search I could find out if its true. It’s funny, after I was having this internal argument about what I would say next time Luna gets a compliment, I was wondering would I want someone to compliment her behaviour or her manners? Or would that feel funny too?
It so difficult when it comes to other people’s children as everyone has such a different outlook. I love compliments about my daughters beauty, but at the same time… should we make children aware of their looks from such a young age? I mean, it has to start somewhere, and we cant blame the TV for everything!