Jennifer: Well-ness introduction.
I’ve been so overwhelmingly busy lately. Okay, that’s an understatement. I’m working full-time, volunteering, in the midst of starting my own business, raising a puppy, and working to maintain my own health and wellness. That last one entails in and of itself a lot of preparation and sacrifice. There is always work to be done, and sometimes it gets difficult to maintain this delicate balance of managing all my responsibilities.
I often like to picture myself as some sort of wonder woman; a woman capable of doing and being it all. I see myself racing from place to place, checking to-dos off my list, making accomplishment after accomplishment so that I can be the perfect business woman, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect fit girl, and the perfect mum to my young pup.
Some days, that really is me. I pat myself on the back for being able to do the impossible, and I laugh at the people who tell me “you can’t do it all”. But most days, this is not the case. Most days, I have hiccups: realizing I forgot my gym shoes when I get there, overcooking my breakfast on the stove, accidentally leaving my clothes in the washer for three days. Following these occurrences, I used to completely to beat myself up over them. “Great, so now you’ve wasted time and you’re going to miss your workout? You’re a mess!” I’d cry. “You can’t even get your breakfast right… you’re whole day is going to go awry!” I’d tell myself. “You should be more organized! Get it together!” I’d say. I will admit that I have been cruel and awful to myself after a misstep. I put myself under so much pressure to be perfect that I forget that I’m human, and therefore imperfect by nature.
My sister told me once “You have to be your own best friend. Talk to yourself the way you would your favorite person in the world”. It’s an astonishing thought, to realize the way we talk to ourselves sometimes. Our inner dialogue is programmed in such a way that instead of being believers, supporters, and encouragers of ourselves, we sometimes just get downright nasty! Roadblocks, setbacks, forgetfulness, and mistakes are completely normal. We would be better off to acknowledge and accept that, instead of berating ourselves over it.
Being mean to yourself, or hating yourself in any way mind, body, or soul is outrageous, not motivational. I can’t understand how being hard on yourself is going to far surpass the drive and animation you can create by being reassuring to and confident in yourself.
I feel best when I’m being productive. That doesn’t mean that I should beat myself up if I can’t get everything done. After all, I am a human BEING, and not a human DOING. None of us were put on this earth to simply ‘get stuff done’. We’re here to enjoy the experience of being alive. We weren’t put on this earth to be perfect anythings, because perfect doesn’t exist. You don’t have to pretend like you have it all together, just be genuine and be you. That is something other people can connect with, because that is a part of you they can recognize in themselves. Now when I forget my gym shoes when it’s too late I say “I think the Universe wanted me to go for coffee instead”. If I burn my breakfast, I say “crispy eggs never hurt anybody!”. And when I leave my sopping wet laundry in the washer for days and days, I realize there’s no need to worry; I just smile and see that I’m blessed to have a giant closet full of other clothes. It’s just life, I’m not perfect, and now I’m my own best friend.
Jennifer is a well-ness coach and blogger.